I'm suing you for cheek damage
by Meeswa
Summary: A short five part fluffy fender fic originally titled "five time Bender casually slapped Fry across the face and he had the same reaction, only one time it wasn't a slap" but that didn't fit in the title.


**Authors note: This is a little five part fic written in a fairly short time space, at least compared to how long it takes for me to write, and I'm not sure entirely where this came from other then I remember seeing a gif set from the new episode "Assie come home" and the third part of this fic actually writes out that scene just because I couldn't think of anything else and I suppose it was the prompt anyway so I guess it deserves to be there, anyway this is a little messily done and could be more well proportioned but I thought it was decent enough to post so here it is, enjoy if Fender is your cup of tea I suppose. **

"Fry have you seen the remote?" Bender asked as he sat himself down on the couch, the red head next to him tearing his eyes away from the TV and shaking his head.

"I don't think so." Fry answered, looking around him for extra measure just in case it had been right under his nose, meaning that non metaphorically it had literally turned up right under his nose once.

Bender lets out a annoyed groan and gets back up from the couch.

"Well will you at least help me look?" Bender asks as he leans down and looks under the couch.

Fry nods albeit a bit reluctantly and starts to turn up the cushions next to him without getting up, he was kinda enjoying watching extreme slug racing or whatever it was but oh well.

They search around the break room for minutes, Bender turning over chairs and tables as if they weighed about as much a coffee cup, putting most of them back while Fry having upturned most of the couches cushions opposite to him and not finding anything started putting them back, still not very inclined to get up, and as he leans over to grab a cushion off the floor the channel changes, something the red head doesn't even notice but Bender immediately catches onto looking over at Fry his optics narrowing suspiciously.

"Hey Fry?" Bender asks in a tone that spells mischief as much as it spells curiosity and Fry looks up sitting up strait again and the channel changes back to extreme slug racing, only this time the red head notices and while he's scratching his head Bender rolls his eyes and walks over to Fry.

"Idiot." The robot mutters under his nonexistent breath as he grabs Fry by the wrist and jerks him up to a standing position, slapping him across the face with the other and Fry yelps as he's pulled up, slapped, and then tossed to the side holding his hand to the side of his face where he was struck.

"Ow, Bender!" Fry complains as Bender picks up the remote from where the red head was sitting and sits himself down as casually as if he hadn't just tossed Fry onto the ground.

"Come on meatbag!" Bender says awfully enthusiastically, patting the seat next to him and ignoring Fry's complaints. "All my Circuits is gonna be on in a minute."

* * *

"Dammit Fry that was my last grilled owl on a stick!"

"Wait! I thought there where more in the freezer- ow!"

Fry's not even sure how Bender can slap people with a hand structure like the one he has, in fact before he meet him he would have limited the ability to slap to someone with fleshy human like hands, you'd think something composed of a slightly morphed cylinder and three short metal digits wouldn't be able to deliver a very effective slap but here he was, holding the stricken side of his face with his left hand to be specific.

* * *

How are you supposed to console someone who's currently crying about how they've lost their ass for good? Its probably a no win scenario, especially when the one who's lost their ass can be rather volatile. Never the less he try's, because he feels this need to at least do _something_.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Maybe we can get you a new one." Fry tries, putting a hand on Bender's shoulder, he thinks he saw a replacement shop somewhere on the way here, Bender's a old model but it looked like a old shop.

Bender immediately tears himself away from Fry's hand and the red head has about half a second to cringe before Bender delivers a hard slap to the side of his face yelling a determined "Never!"

"My ass is my soul mate." Bender continues as Fry holds the side of his face, its strange how Bender can look so enraged one moment and then back to broken up about losing his ass the next.

* * *

"Alright Bender I'm going to bed." Fry says after at least a hour of the two of them sitting in front of the television in their apartment, lazily watching whatever came on with muted interest. Bender perhaps mumbles something in response, he's slouched so low on the couch that Fry's surprised he can even see the television at this point.

Fry gets up from the couch with a grunt, checking the clock on the wall to see that its somewhere between two and three am, time flies when you're half asleep on a couch with a robot he guesses as he makes his way into the messy bed room.

When I make the analogy messy I mean it, there's cloths strewn about everywhere and a funky smell coming from one corner but its home you know?

Fry comes out from the bedroom a moment later wearing a pair of striped pajama pants and presumably underwear, and as he walks across the room towards the bathroom Bender glances at him absent mindlessly, goes back to watching television for a second before doing a double take and scrambling into a upright position and glaring accusingly at the red head.

"Hey!" Bender says suddenly very awake, pointing a finger at Fry who stops mid stride and looks at the robot questioningly, raising a eyebrow. "Aren't those my pajama pants?"

"Uhh.." Fry hastily responds, looking down at his midsection and squinting, neither of them really owned a dresser so cloths did kind of just get thrown on the ground whenever resulting in a little confusion during the once a month laundry day. "Maybe...?"

Bender rolls his optics and gets up from the couch and walks over to Fry delivering a quick slap across the face making the red head yelp and cover his face where stricken.

"Hey! Its not like you haven't stolen some of my underwear over the years- hey what are you do- ow!" Bender grabbed the bottom of the presumably stolen pajama pants and yanked causing Fry to fall hard on his ass as Bender pulls them off him oh so casually and with more force then is really necessary, slipping them on himself as soon as that's done.

"Night meatbag!" Bender calls as he walks past Fry and into the bed room faster then the red head can respond.

"If I have to go to the doctor for ass damage I'm blaming you!" Fry yells back even though Bender probably can't hear him through the now closed bedroom door, although maybe he did anyway because Fry swears he hears a devious and amused laugh through the wall after he said that.

* * *

Fry's nudged awake by something or rather someone poking him in the rib cage and he groans, unwilling to come into the world of waking just yet and rolls over, only to have his shoulders shaken a moment later with enough force to ensure that he wakes up and maybe gets a dislocated shoulder too.

"Come on meatbag wake up, I'm leaving to go restock on booze and I don't want you waking up again thinking I've been kidnapped by the repo man." Comes Bender's voice as Fry cracks open his eyes gives a faint glare at the automaton looming over him and his bed.

"I told you I'm _not _gonna have that dream again." Fry replies yawning as he sits up shakily, he figures as long as he's awake he might as well go get something to eat from the kitchen, and see Bender off apparently.

"Well I wasn't taking any chances, I'm _not_ flying my ass to New Seattle again on your behalf." Bender responds somewhat vividly and steps back so Fry has room to stand up. "Oh yeah and before I left I wanted to give you this."

Before Fry can really ponder what 'this' is Bender rather suddenly leans forward and presses his mouth to the side of Fry's face quite gently at least for Bender and since he can't exactly punker is lips instead he makes a small, smooching sound to emphasize his point.

"Adios, meatbag!" Bender says pulling away from a very startled Fry and looking so pleased with himself its almost comical.

Before Fry can even respond the robot has ran out of sight and two seconds later he hears the front door open and then get slammed shut, and all he does is put a hand up to his cheek.

**Authors note: Like I said could have been a bit more well proportioned, the second and third bits being rather short compared to the other three, but I guess nothings perfect, anyway if you enjoyed, great! **


End file.
